Ashur Darmo: “I Just Want To Give Love”

Ashur Darmo: “I Just Want To Give Love”

Ashur Darmo hasn’t had the easiest path in life, but he’s living proof that adversity can make you strong. Raised in an immigrant family by his mother and grandmother, Ashur didn’t learn how to read or write English until he started public school. He didn’t have much, but he made the most of what he did. Ashur has worked tenaciously in his life to achieve the goals he sets for himself, and he does not aim low. He attributes much of his confidence to lessons learned from Jiu-Jitsu. He won double bronze at the Pan Ams this year, while working to complete a bachelor’s degree in college. He is a proud Assyrian, and you can see him carrying the Assyrian flag as he walks out at Fight To Win Pro. He is a leader, a teacher, a scholar, a fighter, and a lover. Meet brown belt and BJJ Tees sponsored athlete Ashur Darmo.

Name:Ashur Darmo

Age: 22

Team: Ashur is a brown belt under Mark Vives at New Breed Jiu Jitsu in Chicago, team Bonsai.

BJJ Tees: Ashur, I know you live in Chicago now. Is that where you’re from originally? 

Ashur: I was born in Chicago, made in Syria. My mom got on a plane when she was five months pregnant. I'm an Assyrian Christian from Syria.

Heritage is very important to me. I'm pretty proud. I try to represent as much as I can. I can read and write Assyrian, and I want to teach others. I learned Assyrian before English, so I had trouble in school as a kid. I couldn't read and write at first. 

How long have you been training?

I started in 2010 with Mark Vives at 15 years old. I've been training for seven years.

How did you first get involved in Jiu-Jitsu?

I wrestled a little in high school, and I actually couldn't wrestle one season because I got ringworm, which kept me out most of the season. I really wanted to still do grappling, and I was really into the UFC at that point. I wanted to be a UFC champion. I found the closest gym to my house, New Breed. I took the bus from my house every day and trained Jiu-Jitsu and Muay Thai. I only trained no gi, because I wanted to be an MMA fighter. I didn't need that stupid gi. I saved up all my Christmas money and bought all Hyabusa gear because I saw George Saint-Pierre with it. Headgear, shin guards, everything Hyabusa. I spent 500 dollars, which was all the money I had.

How much do you train every week? What is your training like leading up to a big competition like the Worlds?

When I first started, I would train two to three times a day. Now, I train once or twice. One hard session, then maybe drill the second. I'll try to take a good day off every week. I like to lift and I like to train because that's what I have fun doing. It's hard, because there are days when I'm bored and want to train, but nobody else wants to. I'll get frustrated and feel like I'm wasting time. If that's the case, I'll try to watch tape.

I didn't have time for the Worlds. I had a lot of work to complete for my final semester in college. I graduated two to three weeks before the Worlds. At that point, all I could do was continue what I'd been doing. I worked with Sam Spiegelman, our strength and conditioning coach, and another buddy put together workouts for me. I lifted two to four times a week. I wanted to feel normal. I didn't have the time to do anything different, I just fought. I did well. I fought well. I didn’t get the decision, but you can't dwell on the past, just have to move forward. 

You just graduated from college, congratulations! How did you balance being a full-time student with the demands of training and competing?

You gotta be efficient, but also effective. You can't waste too much time. When I was at school, I would try to get as many assignments done as I could while I was there. This sounds bad, but I would cut classes I knew I didn't really need to be at to do work for other classes, so I could make it to training.

I worked a few jobs. I taught boxing at Title Boxing. People knew I did Jiu-Jitsu and wanted to do privates, so I was able to make money teaching privates to clients at Title. I didn't have a lot of money, but I don't buy anything. I only pay for gas and food. I try not to spend money on stupid stuff. I don't really even play video games anymore. I love them, but I don't really have time anymore. 

Senior year, when I had about a year left of school, Title closed and I got laid off. Because I was a student, they denied me for unemployment. I used all the money I had saved from working to stay in school and focus on that. The last year, I wasn't working, other than privates. Once you get into a routine, it doesn't matter. You get used to it.

I have no debt. I worked hard to pay it off as I went and got some financial aid. I don't have to get a job right away because I already paid for college.

What are your plans now?

After I graduated, all I cared about was Worlds. I put everything else on hold. Now that I'm back from Worlds, I'm at a crossroads. I have to decide if I am gonna do Jiu-Jitsu, or get a full-time job. Honestly, I haven't completely figured it out. I know I have to help my family. My mother and grandmother raised me, my dad was not in picture. My mom married at 17 and had me at 18. She didn't know English. I grew up in a household of immigrants. I was lucky. I saw my mother and my family struggle a lot, and we moved a lot. I'm grateful I have a strong family that, even though we didn't have much, we still help each other. They allow me to do Jiu-Jitsu and help me with it. Assyrians don't really move out ‘til they're married, traditionally. Even if I tried to move out, I don't think my mom would let me. I don't want to leave them either. I have to help them out. 

My goal is to be able to do Jiu-Jitsu, and to somehow use Jiu-Jitsu to also make a living. That's what everybody wants to do. You wanna do what you love. I studied Business Management and I've worked at gyms since I was a kid, so I hope one day to  open a good academy, but I also want to compete a lot at black belt first. I haven't put together a full plan yet. I'm hard on myself and sometimes I have to tell myself, "You're ok”.

What are some of the challenges you have had to face?

I always felt like I had to be the man of the house from an early age. I learned the value of money really fast. I don't want to be a burden. One of my goals is to have kids one day and not have them worry about that. 

Because I had to grow up fast, it made me a little... is jaded the right word? I was always wanting to get things done fast and never waste time. When I was younger I could have been more of an asshole, ‘cause I had it harder than some, but my mother made sure I never had it hard. I was never starving. I'm so lucky. And I'm glad I know that I'm lucky. Some people have everything and they're still not happy. That's the saddest thing. 

Living with my mom, I never felt like I didn't have a dad. She's such a strong woman, she's my hero.

You’ve done a couple Fight To Win Pro matches now. How do you feel about competing at these shows, as opposed to a tournament?

Fight To win was so much fun. Jiu-Jitsu is growing. People don't really know what it is, but F2W and professional Jiu-Jitsu are cool because they mix the entertainment of MMA and WWE with Jiu-Jitsu. I think it's good for the sport. You get to see some cool match-ups. The lights, the walk-out song... it's fun. The crowd loves it. And the best part is, they pay you. You don't have to pay to compete. When you're doing Jiu-Jitsu a lot, you don't really have money. The Jiu-Jitsu lifestyle is a hard lifestyle to live. It’s all smiles and hang loose signs, but in your heart, you're always questioning how much your pockets hurt. But everyone's trying to make it and that's why you take the risk. I think F2W is amazing because they support the fighters. I'm surprised it took that long for someone to do it.     

At F2W, you can make money as a purple belt. That's how you keep these guys training: supporting the fighters so they can continue training, and then be the black belts one day.

Calls like this weekend at the Worlds... I worry that if this sport isn't regulated, it will never become established in the world. If you want this sport to be in the Olympics and be recognized, it has to be fair. Hopefully one day it will be huge. 

Finish your opponents, that's the lesson. Just finish.

Do you have any hobbies outside of Jiu-Jitsu?

To be honest, I don't do much outside of training. I like to hang out with friends and watch movies, but I don't go out and drink. That lifestyle is expensive and a waste of time for me. The reason I like to train a lot is because I'm bored all the time. There are days I don't even want to train, but I'm bored, so I go. My day goes a lot smoother when I train.

What was your biggest moment in Jiu-Jitsu?

I've won a lot of things, but My favorite part is the people I've met: my friends, and the family I've gotten to know. My lifestyle has changed because of Jiu-Jitsu. Without it, I might just be the guy who goes to the gym and does bench press, then goes to a job. I wouldn't have been humbled. Jiu-Jitsu gave me self confidence. I can do whatever I want because I know how to apply myself. I never felt good at school, but I graduated college on the Dean”s list. I don't quit. I can do whatever I want. You have those matches when you're completely exhausted and you keep fighting. Those are where you build character. Look at Romulo Barral. Insane. He's mentally so tough. Idk what I'd do in that situation. I don't really have a one moment, it's a whole thing. Every day I get to train I'm happy. Every day is my moment. Every time I compete, I try to smile at least once in every match. Every one. I remind myself right before I step on the mat, "this is fun". I thank Jesus. I thank God that I can do it. I remind myself I can walk and I can talk. I reminded myself after my dad left, “things are bad, but they could be a lot worse.” I'm not perfect. I get caught up in it sometimes and feel bad. I like nice things, but I don't need them. I like people. Humility is huge.   

Who inspires you?

Beniel Dariush. He is a UFC top 10 contender, and also a multiple time Jiu-Jitsu world champ. He of my biggest role models. He happens to be Assyrian. He is my role model on and off the mat. He has definitely taken me under his wing, and he helps me out no matter what. I thank God for him. 

Anything else you want us to know about you?

I love everyone. I'm a pretty aggressive, angry guy when I compete, but I'm very loving also. I do want to give love. 

Any shout-outs you want to give?

I want to thank God first, and Jesus Christ.

The Assyrian community, my people. They have always supported me.

My mother, family, and friends.

My team and coaches. Mark, Sam, and the whole team. White to black. New Breed. I love those guys. 

You can follow Ashur on instagram @ashurdarmo . Keep an eye out, big things are coming!